I have been running around like mad for the past three days trying to get everything situated for financial aid. Being able to put myself through school was riding on several things.

First off, I am already in debt from taking out loans to get my A.A.S in digital design (graphic design, website design stuff)...15k in debt to be exact. I was planning on going back to school in October, which is when my baby turns 3 years old, and will start his preschool for Autism program. My differment on my current student loans was up in June, and I haven't been able to pay a payment. I am currently 3 months behind. In order to borrow money for school, I cannot have any loans in default. Default is 6 + months behind/ no payment/ arrangements made. I have already reached my maximum differment for my situation, which leaves me stuck.

If I started school in Oct, I would be really close and pushing the 6 months behind thing. That had the potential of destroying my chances to go to school. I had to jump and make the choice to go now, put everything in fast forward motion and start up with online classes this week. I AM NOT READY, am scared out of my mind and needed the extra time to research other schools, other options, make sure this is what I wanted to do, and make sure I have all the money there is out there available to me as far as aid goes so I don't have to take out so much money in loans.

I am so overwhelmed, scared, and worried that once finished I will be back in the same position I am now, unable to find a job, even farther in debt, and no solution in sight. We are trying to do so many things right now. My husband has been laid off since June, unemployment has run out, we haven't heard back about the extension yet, he is trying to keep his business going/ get it off the ground. We are living off little to no income, figting for SSI for the baby, and not getting child support for one child which is court ordered.

Things are tight financially, it is all scary, and I am FREAKING OUT!!! It's really hard to be excited about school at this point. Someone please give me a hug or some words of encouragement. I need it.